Have you "met" Mark Gungor? I shared a video of his
in a previous blog. If you haven't seen it yet, check
out his Tale of Two Brains here.
I was flipping through stations the other day, and
found him on his own television show, Love, Marriage
and Stinking Thinking. The subject was: "I Have to be
Honest with My Feelings."
From what I saw, his perspective seems to be counter
to what many are saying and doing in our current
culture of "I have to be honest with my feelings."
It's not that he's saying so much that one shouldn't
be honest. It seems, in what pieces I viewed, that he
is advocating a responsibility for how one expresses
what one does. In addition, he suggests that not
everything thought need to be said to the person the
thoughts are about.
In two previous blog entries I spoke about what I
thought about words and their perceived power.
Some people believe that words do have power. I would
even say most people believe that.
If you go with that perspective, then it would seem
wise to me to be a staunch guardian of the relationship
you say means the most to you by watching what you say,
and how you say it.
It isn't an easy process. We learn many different
things in school, but we don't have classes in how to
communicate effectively with one another, or on how
to express ourselves in the best way to get our
preferred results in a way that honors all involved.
As I write this, I think back on how I have been in
relationships. I am nothing like what I used to be.
There was a time I didn't say what was on my mind, and
as a result it would fester inside of me. At the same
time, I felt like I was supposed to be letting my
feelings out, so it made it even worse.
In time, I have learned that the things that need to be
said can be said in a way that is responsible to me and
the other person, and I say them. I have also learned
how to look at other things in a different way so that
in the end, it is nothing that needs to be shared with
the other person. It was something that I just needed
to see for myself.
I suspect that this might be the kind of approach that
Mark Gungor would advocate/appreciate.
Check it out for yourself. You can see a short clip here,
and find out more info on how to see his whole show,
if you're interested.