Wednesday, December 26, 2007

You got what you asked for - but is it what you want?

Lately, I have been watching tv and movies a little differently than I used to. I actually barely watch any tv at all, but when I do, I find myself loving some of the nuggets offered by the script writers.

I have often heard that you must "ask" for those things that you want. While there are several aspects to this idea, the one that I am focusing on at the moment is HOW you ask for what you want.

In the movie "Santa Baby," Santa's daughter has taken over the toy shop when Santa has had a heart attack. She is a very motivated, very controlling, person who believes that what she believes is "right" and the "best" way to go. Hmm...don't know anyone like that in real life, now do you, smile.

Any way...

She tells the elves that she wants to see reports that tell her that productivity is up. Throughout the movie you see reports of productivity in increasing amounts, and nothing is really considered about it until one day she gets one that says that productivity is up 1,000,000%.

Amazed, she asks the head elf about it. She can't believe that they're making THAT many toys. After it is clear that they're not speaking about the same thing (the elf has no idea how to report productivity - not knowing what it means), the elf explains to her, that he was told that she wanted "reports that productivity was up. That is what I gave you."

In actuality, she didn't want reports that said productivity was up, she wanted productivity to BE up. However, while she got what she asked for, it wasn't what she wanted.

Does that happen to you? Do you find that a person has given you something, and is convinced it's what you wanted, and yet you find yourself disappointed? You got what you asked for, and then realized, oops, it's not what you really wanted.

What is behind it all? Clarity in our desires is key in having them fulfilled. Supposedly we get what we ask for all of the time. If you're not getting a life of the things that you want, you may want to consider that your thoughts and actions are asking for you.

You may also want to consider that you're not looking at things deeply enough. Maybe what you are asking for is in some way REPRESENTATIVE of what you said you wanted, and not the ACTUAL desire. If that is the case, getting what you asked for might leave you feeling pretty empty.

What do you think? Can you see this happening in your own life?

Feel free to comment below with your own examples...and
Have a great day!

Friday, December 21, 2007

Fifteen Minutes of Fame

I just read a story from Chicken Soup for the Cat & Dog Lover's Soul, by Marty Becker, D.V.M. While enjoying reading it, it occurred to me that there is more than one way to look at what this man was sharing.

In his story "15 Minutes of Fame," he speaks to how enthusiastic pets are when their owners return. It made me wonder if there was something to be gained by his observation that would be beneficial to how we react to people in our lives.

He discussed being away, and when he returned, his kids and wife weren't around to greet him, but his dogs were. I almost thought he (given what he was saying, and being unaware of the context of the story) that he was going to say that he decided to approach his family enthusiastically when he got home.

However, he didn't. He wrote of relishing that "15 minutes of fame" that came from the love of his two dogs.

I don't know how it is in your neck of the woods. I haven't a clue about your life, and your family. However, it occurs to me that if we were to learn a lesson from these pets, we might find ourselves more enriched for it.

By showering affection on their owners, the owners in appreciation, give it right back. I have heard many speak of the unconditional love of their pets.

I have noticed in speaking with people as a coach, that many people enjoy being paid attention to. Now you really don't have to be a coach to figure that out, however, it is in that environment that the absence of it is voiced.

I believe that there are many more people than anyone would ever realize or consider that act like everything is OK, when in actuality there is an unfulfilled need. And this unfulfilled need eats away at them.

Are the people in our lives responsible for us or our well-being? In the purest sense, no. However, we are living in a world of people, so wouldn't it make sense that when others are nurtured, we also are? Maybe by being nurturing, we ourselves are nurtured. Maybe by paying attention to others, we are being paid attention to. Maybe what we do has nothing to do with those that we do this for (as true peace and well being does come from within), but rather we do it for ourselves?

Have you ever noticed yourself holding back something because you haven't gotten what you wanted from the person you are holding back from? Interestingly, in some cases, you would find that by acting in the way you wanted to, by extending yourself, by acting without conditions attached, you would get what you needed.

I was taught through words and actions of those around me that life was to be lived with conditions. I was taught that if so-in-so didn't do such-in-such, he didn't care about me. I only wish it was that simple! Unfortunately, it is not.

Sometimes people just have a bad day. Sometimes they just don't think. Sometimes they just don't realize what they're doing, and how it can affect me. Maybe they're thinking too much of themselves, to even consider how I will take it. Maybe they just don't care. And maybe they care, but they just don't know what else they can do, or how to do things differently.

The point in this is that the only person I can count on, and focus on is myself. Even if I seem to be having a bad day, I can still smile at a stranger. If I find myself acting carelessly, I can take an extra minute, and do something nice for someone else. If I find myself caught up in my own thoughts, I can take a moment to ask someone else about theirs.

It may look like I am caring about the other person, but in the end I do it to benefit me. I don't know about you, but being locked up with my thoughts is often times not a good thing.

The "bonus" about this perspective is that while I am busy taking care of myself, I AM caring for the other person, and since this other person likes to be taken care of, she or he will likely do something back that will take care of me. Because of that, there is the potential that I could actually get taken care of twice! And, btw, if the person doesn't do anything back it is fine, as I have already felt better by taking the steps that I took.

Isn't it unusual to think that being "selfish" can be a good thing?

I would say so.

And I'd also say that, once again, it depends on your perspective.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

How do you feel about promotion?

I don't know about you, but I find that when I spend any time on the web, I see promotion up the wahzoo.

It's the good and the bad about the Internet.

Whether it is "good" or "bad" has everything to do with your perspective.

If you are someone who is wanting to share a service or product, it is the type of thing you would want to know about and, more importantly, use to your advantage.

Lately I have been encouraging people that I know to take advantage of the web. There is nothing better than awakening in the morning, finding out that you have made money while you have been sleeping.

Because I make hypnosis and stress relief recordings, I have had this experience, and I can tell you, it is pretty darn cool. In addition, you can never discount the value of working in the most comfortable attire possible.

Lately I have put my mind and heart into learning as much as I can about how best to share what I know by using the Internet. One-on-one, people I speak with can see how what I can do can impact them. Now I feel that it is important that I take this and convert it into "web-ease", and share it with as many people as possible.

Because I get gazillions (well, not really, but it sure seems like it) of emails, I am exposed to different things. Today it was something about effective blogging. Since I am new to blogging, and want to make the most of it, the email, and the program caught my eye.

The catch? I need to blog about them to receive their blogging program. Quite ingenious, really. People who read blogs will probably be the ones who write them, and what better (free) way to advertise, than to have those who blog tell others about the program?

So...what I have been told to do is to post some code in my blog, which will follow at the end. If it looks interesting, and you blog, then why not tell others about it, as well? In all fairness...I usually like to tell people about things AFTER I have had experience with them. However, in this case, since the program is free, what the heck?

After I have had a chance to look at it, I will get back to the blog, and share my thoughts.

In the meantime, the holidays are upon us, and if you haven't considered it already, think about what tint you have on these days...Is it one you want? If not, consider changing it to something else more enjoyable. Yes, I know it's not the easiest thing to do, but it is do-able, and the more you do it, the easier it gets - REALLY! If you're not sure how to do it, you're welcome to contact me, and I'll see what I can to do to assist. You might be surprised at how simply it can be, once you know how to do it.

Happy Holidays!

Here's the code I was telling you about:

I'm evaluating a multi-media course on blogging from the folks at Simpleology. For a while, they're letting you snag it for free if you post about it on your blog.

It covers:

  • The best blogging techniques.
  • How to get traffic to your blog.
  • How to turn your blog into money.

I'll let you know what I think once I've had a chance to check it out. Meanwhile, go grab yours while it's still free.

Monday, December 3, 2007

The Perfect Gift

I just read an article, the content of which came from Sweden (Click Here for Article). It was an interesting article, as it spoke about analysis regarding Santa's Christmas Eve travels. I love how people take the time to figure out these things.

However, more importantly, to me the article provides interesting insight and perspective. It poses two distinct possibilities based on two different analyses of Santa and his sleigh, and his worldly, whirlwind travel over the course of one night.

On one hand, it is estimated that for Santa to visit every home,
he must visit 2.5 billion homes and must spend no more than 34 microseconds at each location to be able to complete his journey in time. In addition to, of course, the reindeer moving fast enough.

On the other hand, a different study quoted says that if Santa
was to be in a sleigh the size it would have to be, in conjunction
with the related physics that go along with it, Santa and his
sleigh and presents would be destroyed, and gone - the actual
term used is - "vaporized" - within 4.26 thousandths of a second.

Both studies are essentially using the same type of data. The difference seems to be the outcome based on the conclusions.

Out of curiousity, which option would you believe to be true, if you had to pick one?

When I thought about this, I felt it was the epitome of what defines
an optimistic or pessimistic point of view. I would almost want to
say an optimist or pessimist. However, a person's point of view
does not necessarily make the person. Or does it?

Think about it for a moment. If what you do creates who you are,
and what you think about affects what you do, which in turn
creates who you are. Then what you think about is what you create
yourself to be.

So if you happen to think that your world is depressing, and that
you are always let down, and that you never get what you want,
then you are likely to be a person with a life in which the world
is depressing, you are always let down, and you never get what you

On the other hand, if you believe that the world is a better place
for those in it. If you feel that others will always look out for you.
If you think you will always get what you need, and/or better, you
will likely be a person who makes the world a better place, and
feels better about the world in which you live.

Now, if your thoughts were indeed you, it is likely that you never
would be able to alter who you are. Notice how above I said,
"what you think about is what you CREATE yourself to be." The
key word? "CREATE". That means that you have a choice. There are
many expressions that are something akin to "change your thinking,
and change your world."

You might wonder why bother? What difference does it make? Does it
really matter what you think, if you aren't a believer in Santa?

The short answer is "YES."

There is a much longer answer that can go with the YES. However, the mini version goes something like this: How you think about anything is how you think about everything. If you, in general, are a half full kind of person, your attitude will likely find you in a world that is a much better place than the world in which a half empty person resides.

The next time you are thinking about something that is something other than what you want it to be, here are a few steps you can take:

1. consider the facts of the situation.

2. analyze the different sides of the equation.

(Remembering that there is always another perspective).

3. pick which side you would rather be on.

4. step to that side.

5. pick actions in accordance with that side.

6. ACT.

The first few times, you may find it difficult, it may even seem like a complex mathematical equation. Getting your mind to be open to other perspectives can sometimes be like learning another language. However difficult it may seem, it is DO-ABLE.

In an extreme sense, the above theories leave Santa as alive or dead. In a way, that is like the life you live. Your choices will leave you alive or dead. In some cases, it might even be literal. Someone who is reading this might quibble about Santa's existence to begin with, and if you are one of them, may I gently remind you that Santa is symbolic of the life that you're living.

This is about your choices, the ones the disempower, and the ones that empower. I am empowered when I can see that I am able to alter my perspectives. A changed perspective has changed my world, on more than one occasion, and in more than one way. Am I perfect in this regard? Hardly. However, the more that I see that I can alter my world with the perspectives I bring to it, the more that I am willing to "play with" altering the perspectives I bring to my life and its situations.

This holiday season, give yourself the perfect gift. Whatever happens in the next few weeks, allow yourself to analyze the situation in a way that empowers you, and act on it. If what you think about is what you bring about, you will be doing yourself a great favor.

And do you know what the best part of this gift is? It is one that will continue to be with you well into the New Year. It could even help with those "pesky" New Year's Resolutions you're thinking of making.

One last thought: You may be wondering if what I am saying is "true." You may be wondering if there is any point in what I have said. I did, after all, say there is always more than one perspective. If you are that person, and you think I could be wrong, I have three questions for you in regard to trying out what I have suggested:

What have you got to lose?

What is the worst thing that could happen?

Is the worst thing that could happen something you could live with?

If you can live with the potential outcome, then consider what your life would be like if "Santa" was alive and well all year round.

In the end, the "facts" will always be tainted by someone. Are you going to use their perspective, and make it your own, or are you going to make and use your own? The difference between the two is a world apart, and the choice you make can make all the difference in the world.

There is a a good chance that if you change your perspective, you will likely experience changes in the world in which you live. Don't take my word for it, though, try it out. See if what I say makes sense for you, and makes a difference for you.

I would love to hear your experience with this mindset. If you decide to take this on, or already have, I would love to hear from you what your experience has been. Write me Here, or feel free to post a comment.

Happy Holidays! (and long live Santa!!)