Perspective Short: St. Francis de Sales: On Fear and Love

Those who love to be feared fear to be loved,
and they themselves are more afraid than anyone,
for whereas other men fear only them, they
fear everyone.

~St. Francis de Sales

JOy LOve PEace - where is it?

I am looking for people and websites and organizations
and pictures, and anyone and anything that is in some
way representative of JOy LOve and/or PEace.

Know of something others should know about?
Please share in the comments below, or you can email
me privately at infoATjolope.com.

Thanks!

Perspective: When Trust is Turned into Ammunition

When you meet a new person, you don't know everything
about each other. It is not possible.

As you get to know one another, you begin to reveal
pieces and parts of yourself. You reveal your history.
You reveal your weaknesses, your insecurities. You
get comfortable, and the other person gets to see the
"real" you.

That can be the beautiful thing about expressing yourself,
and getting to know another. There is something quite
wonderful and freeing about being able to express
yourself, without your guard up.

What isn't so beautiful is when you in that moment of
trust confide something about yourself or your history
only to have the other person come back at a later time
and use it as ammo when they see an opportunity.

Even worse, is when the other person uses the
knowledge in a way that s/he might even claim as
helpful or beneficial to you - often by seemingly
kicking you while you are down. More times than not
the LAST thing we need to hear is another's assessment
of us in what is likely already an argument or disagreement.

How often is someone likely to mention something that
is seemingly "wrong" with you when everything is going OK?

http://www.flickr.com/photos/tscarlisle/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

The next time you are upset about something, and are
tempted to "use" some information about the other consider
the following:

1. Are you being defensive? Are you "pointing" at them as
a way of not looking at yourself?

2. Do you really think the person will "hear" what you are
saying if you point to something sensitive for or about them
when you are in the midst of a heated conversation?

3. Are you looking to hurt someone because you feel hurt?

4. Do you really think you are being helpful? Then consider
if there might be a better - less charged - time to address
the issue(s).

5. Do you really think you are being helpful? Does this
person want to hear what you have to say? Have they
"invited" you to address this issue? If not, odds may be
pretty good s/he will not be in a position to appreciate
what you have to say.

Arguments are bad enough without the additional stress
and heartache of the pain of feeling a betrayal of trust that
addressing sensitivities at the wrong time/in the wrong
way can bring.

Consider that you may think you know why a person is
acting as they are, but also consider that you haven't got
a clue. Many times what we think the issue at hand is
has nothing to do with what is really going on.

The world is a much better place when we have people that
we can trust and confide in, and when someone does that
with us, the best thing we can do for them is appreciate
the gift they've given us and respect them and the
information shared.

If you suspect the issue might be the issue, consider that
you can give them what they might need in the moment
as a result of the issue. For instance, maybe there is a
certain reaction because the person feels a lack of love.
Pointing out that they react that way, or that they feel a
lack of love is potentially unhelpful. What could be helpful
is to find a way to have that person feeling loved in that
moment.

If you find yourself on the receiving end of this type of
action, the best thing you can do is step back and see if
this might be what is happening.

If it is, then it might be helpful to let the other person
know that what s/he is doing is UNhelpful to you at that
time. If you really want to be generous, you can
acknowledge them for wanting to be helpful, but let
them know that you aren't in a place to appreciate it
at the moment.

I would truly like to think that most people don't set
out to hurt another, but that their own hurts and
defensiveness is what is speaking when they lash out.

When we love and trust another, it is a risk we take.
If we can recognize each other's humanity in moments
like this, it could make all the difference when it comes
to the outcome.

I am a great believer in expression. However, it would
be wise to consider what you say before you say it.
While words only take on the meaning that the receiver
brings to them, you can't take the result of their being
said back.

Sometimes it is wise to step back, and evaluate so you
can ACT vs. REACT. It is helpful to know when to walk
away. This is not to say to avoid the conversation, but
rather allow it time to breathe, so that the conversation
can be more productive. It is important to consider what
your goal is for the moment/for the conversation, and
where you are coming from. Is it a place of love? Or
somewhere more spiteful/hurtful?

In the heat of the moment we often are going to wind up
defensive (and defensively attacking), while the real issue
is standing in the corner watching and, as a result, remain
unaddressed and unresolved ready to appear another day.

Perspective: A girl, A Yo-Yo, and Times Square

Several years ago I was waiting for a guy
I was dating in Times Square in New York City.

I arrived at our agreed location before
he did, and he was running late.

I called him at some point, and he sounded
like something was wrong, but when I asked
him about it, he was short, and pretty much
said he would still be coming.

I felt anxious about his coming as I was
standing virtually on a street corner waiting
for him. I wondered if there was anything
personal, as this was a new guy I was starting
to see. My mind started to take all kinds of
twists and turns, none of them particularly
good.

I knew I had to shake the feeling, and I
decided I had to find a way to do it. Having
time on my hands, I started to roam the many
stores of Time Square, looking for something
that would help my mood transition.

I was in the middle of some courses at the
time, and part of what they were suggesting
was that we could be the essence of something
in our interactions, and who we were. I had
determined that for me it was the essence of
Love and Fun.

As I looked around for something that would
represent Love and Fun I wasn't having much
luck, until I came upon a Yo-Yo which I
bought. I then went back to the street
corner. It wasn't really the corner, but
close enough...just love saying it for the
effect :-p.

I went back to our meeting location, and
proceeded to stand there, and Yo-Yo'd. It
was a cool November/December Day, and I
was slightly more than casually dressed
for my date, so imagine what I would have
looked like, standing there, in front of
the ESPN Zone, Yo-Yo-ing.

Even remembering that image brings a smile
to my face. Needless to say, people
certainly gave me second looks. I think I
almost had more fun with them, than I did
with the Yo-Yo.

When my date showed, he was cracking up at
me. What was I doing with a Yo-Yo? I
don't recall, but I don't think I explained
to him the fact that I was sort of freaking
out, and that I needed to switch gears so
that I could get into the space of Love and
Fun. And, even though he cracked up at me,
he took the Yo-Yo and started playing with
it himself as we walked to Mars2112 where
there were lots of games to play.

We had a great night.

The next day I found out what was bothering
him the night before and, of course, it had
nothing to do with me. Had it been the "old"
me I would have wanted to know what was wrong,
even if it had nothing to do with me and it
would have likely have ruined - or at the very
least strained - our evening together. However,
that night, thanks to Love and Fun, I was able
to let it go, and be in the moment.

By the way, I still have that Yo-Yo (it is the
one in the picture above). I have kept it as
a reminder of what focusing on the essence of
something can do for me. It was a wonderful
gift that has kept on giving, as it is one of
those stories that I have told many times.

And now I have told it once more.
-*-
Picture above is an adaptation of a Trey Ratcliff photo:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/stuckincustoms/ / CC BY-NC-SA 2.0

I admired his work so much, I asked him to be a guest.
Here's an excerpt from when Trey was on my
World of Perspective Radio Show.

Perspective Art: Joy Love Peace

 

Perspective: What do Love, Hypnosis & Photography have in common?

Q: Perspective: What do Love, Hypnosis & Photography have in common?
A: The True Love Project

The True Love Project from Zack Seckler on Vimeo.

What a great idea!

Under hypnosis you can "conjure" up all kinds of feelings.
(I am glad he chose Love!) What a great gift those people
received. I have been witness to some similar, profound
moments, and there is nothing more beautiful.

What do you think of his work?

If you can feel an emotion in your body, your body will
react to it. Hypnosis can tune you into the emotions that
are beneficial and can feed your body in a healthy way.

Some believe that the mind and body are connected. If they
are, it might be wise to consider what the stress you are
feeling might be doing to your body. Would it be advantageous
to be able to turn it off while turning a more positive
feeling on, like a light switch? If so, Hypnosis might be
something to investigate.

Amazingly, it CAN be THAT simple.

If you're curious about what Hypnosis can do for you, and
would like some inspiration, here is a list in PDF format.

If you'd like to learn more, or
explore your options, you can
call me, or
email me at infoATJoLoPe.com

Thanks for stopping by!

Click Below, and Fill in your information, and we can speak live (US Only)
Click Here for World Clock
I am on Pacific (California) Time in the United States

Perspective: Joy Love Peace

A few nights ago there was a full moon.

It was also a cloudy night, but the clouds
weren't so dense that you were still able
to see the moon.

Even though you can't really tell this
video graphic is the moon, you might still
enjoy it when you're stressed, or if you
are having trouble sleeping. It is very
soothing, especially if you give it your
full attention.

Perspective: A Story About Love and Never Giving Up

When I was 10ish, I wrote and illustrated a story. That story
stayed with me through 8th grade graduation, high school,
college, a move to Ohio, a move back to New York, several
moves while in New York, and a move to California.

That story has been with me for years. Who knows why
someone holds onto something. Many things have been
tossed through the years, and yet, a few things seem to
remain.

I imagine it helped that it was only a few sheets of paper,
but still...I have thrown others out.

Recently the story has been on my mind, and when I shared
it with a few people it became apparent that it needed to be
shared on a bigger scale. As a result, I found it (had my
fingers crossed that I would) and I scanned the pictures that
I drew, and re-typed the story. The original had fading
typing, and I thought it might be best to have a version that
was easily read.

To order a copy (or to see me as a 10-year-old!) please
visit CrushProofCar.com

Here is a quick video I did to give you a little sense of
what I have done:

Perspective: On Mourning and Regret

A few years ago, a friend told me that a cousin of hers who was 20 had died due to sleep apnea. I didn’t know what to say, how to be. My heart went out to my friend. I couldn’t possibly comprehend what she must be going through.

The next day I got an email that she was having a tough time. If only she had...

I wrote back a longer reply than I thought possible, and only hoped that it would be something that she could receive in the state she was in. I debated about sending it before hitting the send key. I in no way wanted to take away her grief, but I did want to have her reconsider the guilt she seemed to be feeling.

I wrote, “I am sure your cousin looked up to you, and appreciated all that you were for her. While you now wish you had spent more energy and time with her, I am sure she valued all that he had with you. It is too bad that often people do not communicate what is in their hearts, because I believe that we would hear many things that people take for granted, but don't know because no one tells us. I suspect that she probably would have told you all of this, and then some...had there been, or had she created, the opportunity.

I understand that you are struggling...and that maybe you feel that you haven't been "good enough"...and maybe you have been caught up in your life...but never underestimate the power of what you have done. I have no doubt that you have impacted the lives of those around you, in ways that you may never know or suspect (think George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life).

The true test of life comes in the focus. You will honor your cousin's life more by focusing on what you can put into the lives of those still here, rather than focusing on what you have lacked or what has been missing.

Above all, know that you are human, and with your humanity comes certain strengths and frailties. You have a tremendous heart, and it will help you find the way any time you are willing to listen. Forgive your frailties, focus on your strengths, and give from your heart. Everything will take care of itself from there.”

I hadn’t been sure how to end the letter, but someone, or something did it for me. I was very pleased. It is always interesting to me how “I” will write something and really like it. However, the times I am especially pleased are the times that I know that I felt like I had some "help." How difficult it is to encapsulate those moments of grief that one feels after the death of a loved one.

Beside the letter I included a quote from Buddha that showed up in my mailbox that same week:

Your life is a gift.
Your life is a gift that you give yourself.
Your life is a gift that you give others.
Your life is a gift that you give the world.
Have you forgotten that your life is a gift?
YOU are a gift.
Where could you start giving?
To yourself, to others, and to the world?

The one piece that stuck with me more than others will be the one I will leave you with,

Forgive your frailties,
focus on your strengths,
and give from your heart.
Everything will take care
of itself from there.

Remember,
YOU are a gift.

PS Looking back, I would now say that letter was a forerunner of what I currently call my Letters of Love - letters written for someone specifically, but often have profound universal messages of Love. If interested, see video in left column ("Looking for Answers?") for more details, and for information on where to read more letters, and a special offer, if you'd like to get one of your own. :-)

The Dot Perspective

There are times that I write, and while I may actually do the writing, the content seems to flow, and is "inspired." The following is one of those times (circa 2001).

I often try to adhere to the style of the writing, so you may think there should be different ways to compose and punctuate the sentences. Sorry for that...however, may I kindly suggest that you focus on the words and content instead of how it is presented. There may be more to be gotten that way. :-)

xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

There is a poison pen in the world - words are written in people's vile actions...or atleast what appears as vile to some. But without these actions there is no recognition of Love and family. Without separation there is no togetherness. Without appreciation are we who do not have opposites.

Know that at the core of all is Love. Love is for all, Love is mankind - Love is for mankind. Mankind is Love. Mankind needs Love, and yet it denies it for itself. It is scared of what is possible in living in Love. It often threatens its demise by its focus on all but Love - but all there really is is Love - and that is often forgotten.

To remember is to live in a world of infinite space of infinite time, infinite Love. Humans seek finiteness and yet they want to live forever. How ironic is that. To Love is all that is able to be given - anything else clouds the subject and blocks the ever present Love.

As I've said before all is illusion - all is just particles of dust that come together to create a picture - just as the pointillism artists. Stand back, see a whole picture, be up close and see only dots. The unity of the whole is lost when the dots are focused on. Focus on the big picture because the dots have already taken care of themselves.

You need to have a world consciousness for the world as you know it to survive. You need to forsake the self. This is not to say that one can abuse or ignore one's self, but rather that you are not here for you. If you were here just for you - why are there so many more people in the world.

Your life is not about you. Your life is about others. Your life is about reaching out and growing and only through others do you grow. Only through others do you truly live. Only through others do you get the point, the dot that is you.

Perspective: Joy Love Peace

Perspective Art: Joy Love Peace

This is nothing like what it started to be. :-)

Perspective Art: Joy Love Peace

(ALL WORKS HERE ARE COPYRIGHTED.
ONLY USE WITH PERMISSION.
If you like my image, this one
and others, is available in
card and other forms at
cafepress.com/joylovepeace)

Perspective Short: Love and Pain

Q: What do love and pain have in common?
A: Perspective

- Elizabeth Alraune

Perspective Short: Elizabeth Alraune - Love

The essence of Love is life itself.

-Elizabeth Alraune (CY)

Perspective Short: Elizabeth Alraune - Love

Love is in every dot
every spec
every drop of ink
every space between
every drop of ink
in your hands
in between
the threads
of this page
in between
the molecules
of hate and rage

-Elizabeth Alraune (CY)

World of Perspective Radio: Tony Vear (Returns)

Love: A State of Mind and A Way of Life

Is the way it has been, the way it will always be? My guest Tony Vear would say that within every situation, within every moment, within every person, love is present, waiting to be acknowledged.

His perspective has the potential to leave you feeling inspired and full of hope. Come and join our conversation. Questions welcome. To submit questions ahead of time, email radio@a-world-of-perspective.com.

The Show is Tonight 7PM/PT. To listen, click player on the left of this blog, or visit world-of-perspective-radio.com.

Here are excerpts from our first show:

World of Perspective Radio: Cindi Sansone-Braff

Please listen for
World-of-Perspective-Radio.com
excerpts from interview with
Cindi Sansone-Braff,
The Romance Whisperer
GrantMeAHigherLove.com

Perspective: Love

I just saw this video,
and wanted to share it
http://www.youarelovemovie.com/.

Enjoy the perspective,
with Love.

Perspective Short: Buddha on Love

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ashclements/ / CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

Love in the past is only a memory
Love in the future is only fantasy
It is only here and now
that we can truly love.
- Buddha