Appreciation

As you may know from some previous blogs,
I have been having some difficulties lately,
and have wondered if I would have to leave
southern California to return to New York.

When I moved here almost 3 years ago, I was
certain that I needed to be here. It made
no logical sense for anyone, including me.
Although, I had considered a move to the
area more than once.

My situation has made me question many
things, and has left me at times in a deep,
dark place, and at other times has given
me optimism and hope in ways never before.

Interestingly, at the darkest place I have
been, I got really sad thinking about leaving,
and I decided to begin to be grateful (on a
more aware and consistent basis) for the
things I have, the environment I am in, the
palm trees, the mountains, the fact that I
am in southern California.


In the last few weeks, that is the ONLY thing
that I am aware of that I have done
differently, as I have been plugging away
for some time, working on creating things,
as always.

In addition, there have been those who have
wished me well, and prayers that have been
sent my way that have been very much
appreciated. Positive energy in my direction
is always welcome.

While there are many issues and questions
that I am facing these days, not the least
of which are others' judgments and assessments
of what I am doing and should do, and how I go
about what I am doing. Let me tell you, I am
getting some very important lessons in
perspective.

There were certain things I felt and believed
before, and now I am becoming reacquainted
with them in a bigger way, and at some point
I will share...the point that I become more
clear about the role of the twists and turns
my life is taking.

In the meantime, I am appreciating where I
am and what I am able to do, and I am plowing
forward, and the last week or so has been one
of the best weeks I have had in a very long
time.

I don't know where this will wind up. However,
I have the desire for it to be somewhere
amazing, and believe that, just like so many
other rough patches in my life, and seeming
cliffs, there is something that I will be able
to relate with others about in a way that can
make a difference.

Who knows if it's "true," or not? But then
again, how does anyone know what is "true?"
So, for now that's my story, and I'm sticking
to it.

Be well...with much Love and Appreciation,
Elizabeth

PS If you know anyone who could use my help
as a hypnotist, or in any other way (see
JoLoPe.com for the many things that are me)
please connect us. Thanks!

Perspective: On Mourning and Regret

A few years ago, a friend told me that a cousin of hers who was 20 had died due to sleep apnea. I didn’t know what to say, how to be. My heart went out to my friend. I couldn’t possibly comprehend what she must be going through.

The next day I got an email that she was having a tough time. If only she had...

I wrote back a longer reply than I thought possible, and only hoped that it would be something that she could receive in the state she was in. I debated about sending it before hitting the send key. I in no way wanted to take away her grief, but I did want to have her reconsider the guilt she seemed to be feeling.

I wrote, “I am sure your cousin looked up to you, and appreciated all that you were for her. While you now wish you had spent more energy and time with her, I am sure she valued all that he had with you. It is too bad that often people do not communicate what is in their hearts, because I believe that we would hear many things that people take for granted, but don't know because no one tells us. I suspect that she probably would have told you all of this, and then some...had there been, or had she created, the opportunity.

I understand that you are struggling...and that maybe you feel that you haven't been "good enough"...and maybe you have been caught up in your life...but never underestimate the power of what you have done. I have no doubt that you have impacted the lives of those around you, in ways that you may never know or suspect (think George Bailey in It's a Wonderful Life).

The true test of life comes in the focus. You will honor your cousin's life more by focusing on what you can put into the lives of those still here, rather than focusing on what you have lacked or what has been missing.

Above all, know that you are human, and with your humanity comes certain strengths and frailties. You have a tremendous heart, and it will help you find the way any time you are willing to listen. Forgive your frailties, focus on your strengths, and give from your heart. Everything will take care of itself from there.”

I hadn’t been sure how to end the letter, but someone, or something did it for me. I was very pleased. It is always interesting to me how “I” will write something and really like it. However, the times I am especially pleased are the times that I know that I felt like I had some "help." How difficult it is to encapsulate those moments of grief that one feels after the death of a loved one.

Beside the letter I included a quote from Buddha that showed up in my mailbox that same week:

Your life is a gift.
Your life is a gift that you give yourself.
Your life is a gift that you give others.
Your life is a gift that you give the world.
Have you forgotten that your life is a gift?
YOU are a gift.
Where could you start giving?
To yourself, to others, and to the world?

The one piece that stuck with me more than others will be the one I will leave you with,

Forgive your frailties,
focus on your strengths,
and give from your heart.
Everything will take care
of itself from there.

Remember,
YOU are a gift.

PS Looking back, I would now say that letter was a forerunner of what I currently call my Letters of Love - letters written for someone specifically, but often have profound universal messages of Love. If interested, see video in left column ("Looking for Answers?") for more details, and for information on where to read more letters, and a special offer, if you'd like to get one of your own. :-)

Learning from Another's Perspective

Today I was reminded of an experience
I had when I was a child.

I grew up with my grandparents, and
my grandmother was losing her sight,
and was in and out of a wheelchair
since she had broken both hips.

What I remember was one day I heard
somewhere - on the TV or radio - that
if you wanted to appreciate someone
who was blind, and what they were
going through, you should walk around
with your eyes closed, or in some way
unable able to see.

I couldn't have been more than eleven
at the time. I don't remember if there
was anything about not being able to
walk, or about wheelchairs, but I
remember, at one point wheeling around
with her chair, and walking around
with my eyes closed.

My grandmother caught me at one point,
and was really upset. She didn't get
why I was doing what I was doing. She
told me that I should be grateful for
my sight. I wish she could have realized
that what I was doing was an exercise
in appreciation, which could definitely
translate into gratitude.

Instead, coming from her perspective
which was a life severely limited by
the changes in her body, she was angry
and, I think defensive - somehow thinking
I was mocking her.

I don't remember much about my childhood,
but somehow I always remembered that.

It must have been the strong emotion
conjured inside of me from the hurt
my grandmother felt in her lack of
understanding, coupled with
my understanding of the intent
of the person who made the suggestion.

I was reminded of this today when I saw
the following video on YouTube.
It is about dining in the dark. It is
about how the other senses get fired
up when the one that many of us depend
on the most is unavailable.

The video is awesome in a few ways,
because besides showing sighted people
a thing or two to appreciate, it also
shows how those who live
with compromised sight, can function
well enough to even be the wait staff.

If you have a couple of minutes,
maybe you want to check it out. Maybe
you'll find yourself with an
interesting perspective to consider
in the process. After all, perspective
is appreciated the most when there
are a few to choose from. Don't you
enjoy the chocolate cake that much more
when you choose it over the carrots? :-)



Have a great day!